I'm reasonably competent. At least, most of the time.
I
can function fairly well in company, I can generally navigate the
supermarket (even if they INSIST on moving the yoghurts every time I
visit) and I can sometimes get a couple of the answers on BBC 2's
boffin-fest Only Connect and then feel super smug for the rest of the
evening.
But
I'm not sure if I'm quite as with-it as I was when I passed my
degree, or when my brain worked on super-speed as a reporter filing
court copy up against deadline, or if I'm even simply as mentally able as I was a year or so ago.
Because
a nosedive in cognitive function is just one of the many distressing aspects of
life with MS and a lot of people experience frightening and frustrating impacts on learning and memory,
attention, concentration and mental speed, problem solving and word
finding.
So,
pretty much everything it takes to get through the day.
Issues
are, like most things MS-ey, generally caused by
inflammation and lesions in the brain interrupting the transmission
of electrical messages along nerve fibres, reducing the speed and
accuracy of the information.
My
word-finding and mental speed are noticeably worse when I'm tired, have been concentrating for long stretches of time, if I'm surrounded by a lot of noise or after being particularly physically active. They're also a bit rubbish if I'm
particularly emotional – so any complex problem solving in the
run-up to my period is an absolute no-go.
This cognitive carnage is (literally) on my mind at the moment as I have recently ended one form of
employment and am embarking on another quite exciting one.
While some aspects of the new role are very familiar, there are many that are completely new and what
is concerning me is whether I am still as able as I was 14 years ago
before MS introduced its roadblocks in my brain?
Can
my beleaguered Numskulls still find their way around the disrupted neural pathways to make the links and retain the learning that will make me any kind of decent prospect?
I
don't know. I can only hope. And, to try and relive the pressure, I'm doing my best to take it day-by-day.
Speaking
of which, cognitive results from this week:
- Times achieved a one-hour drive to new workplace: one (Success!)
- Percentage of new techie detail taken in at first work meeting: approx 70% (Not bad!)
- Numbers of minutes spent wandering around the house looking for watch with watch already on wrist: seven (Oh dear.*)
There is some really useful information plus explanations, support and coping strategies in this information sheet from the MS Trust
*In
my defence, I was wearing long sleeves.
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