The past few weeks have been a bit of a challenge.
Work has been overwhelming, friends and family have needed support and the general gloomy weather and unnerving news cycle has seemed relentless.
Then running alongside all this is the knowledge that my body is starting to fail me in new and unsettling ways.
The constant MS hug is second nature now, but nonetheless exhausting for the familiarity.
My slower thinking and reduced ability to make decisions as the day progresses and fatigue hits is more noticeable this year compared to last.
My walking, balance and dexterity have been affected. My stamina is not what it was.
And the general lack of confidence in my abilities that I've always had, is translating into exhausting emotions.
I'm pretty much running on empty all the time, but with the knowledge that the tough days are more frequent than they used to be.
And, worryingly, the fact is that this may still be the best that things can get.
While I'm not completely drowning yet, I am starting to sink. And although I've pulled myself up on quite a few occasions in the past, it's getting harder to know how to do it again.
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