The edge of glory

MS: *brightly* Hiiiiiya

Me: *reading* Oh, hi.

MS: *looks smug, puffs chest out* Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiya.

Me: *reluctantly putting down book*  You looked pleased with yourself.

MS: Yes, I’m in the news!

Me: What have you done now?

MS: There’s no need to be like that.

Me: I think you’ll find there’s every need. So go on then, what’s happened?

MS: Well, it’s very exciting - it’s all about me! Some clever research boffins think they’ve finally found a cause for meeeeeeee!

Me: Oh yes? And have they also found any actual point to you? Other than being an attention-seeking diva, obviously?

MS: Ooooh, unnecessary.

Me: Totally necessary. So go on then *rolls eyes* what’s the cause?

MS: Well, it’s something super sciencey, but basically they’re saying there’s too much of one type of protein in your brain that’s causing miscommunication between your calcium supply and your mitochondria...

Me: My what now?

MS: Durrr. Mi-to-chon-dri-a, it’s the energy-creating powerhouse bit of a cell.

Me: Oh, yeah, right, I knew that.

MS: Course you did. Well, anyway, this miscommunication with the calcium supply triggers the mitochondria into misbehaving which in turn causes toxicity for brain cells in people with MS.

Me: Erm, hang on, did you just term all your disability-causing crapness as ‘misbehaving’?

MS: Well, that’s what it says here, and as you know, I’ve always liked to think of myself as the very spirit of misbehaviour. A little bit cheeky, a little bit naughty *winks to camera*

Me: Please don’t do that.

MS: Sorry.   *under breath*  Not sorry.

Me: Aha, so - and please excuse my cynicism here - putting aside all the previous miracle breakthroughs that we’ve heard about will this one actually lead to a cure?

MS: Well, and this is the rather worrying bit for me, I’ll admit. What they’re saying is that because they reckon they’ve finally found the cause, which as you know, has been the subject of mystery and disagreement for many years, it could now pave the way for targeted and pioneering new treatments.

Me: Oooh, so you could finally be gone then?

MS: Guess so. Bit sad actually.   *Pauses*   Right, well, not much more to say here, I’ll be off. Bye then.

Me: Wait, what? You’re actually leaving? Now?

MS: Ha ha. Fooled ya. Just because they think they’ve found a cause, doesn’t mean they’ve actually found a cure yet does it?

Me: Oh, well no, I suppose not.

MS: No, you suppose not correctly. So until then I thought I’d just lurk around a bit. Silently. Waiting. Like the ever-present threat I am.

Me: Yes, thought so. *sighs, picks book up again* Guess it’s back to as we were then. 

MS: *smirks* Yes, as we were.

Me: *whispers* But hopefully not for much longer. You tiresome little twunt.

:: The edge of glory by Lady Gaga