My silver lining

Bit of a bold statement, but here we go: until I had MS, I don't think I knew how to be truly grateful.

I didn't know how to appreciate that I was feeling well.
I didn't know how to really notice what was around me.
I didn't know how to stop. And be happy just to be.

And while all of that sounds insufferably navel-gazey, it is true.

MS is generally a monumental shitshow, but if I search hard enough, there are some silver linings. And those silver lining tell me that sometimes:

• I'm allowed to stop ricocheting from pillar to post
• I'm allowed to lower my guard
• I'm allowed to sit and watch the world pass me by

I haven't let go of all the fear, I haven't stopped worrying, I won't escape an irrational sense of guilt. But I don't have to feel like that all the time.

And when I don't, I am allowed to appreciate it.

:: My silver lining by First Aid Kit