A mixtape for multiple sclerosis

A mixtape for multiple sclerosis

Wednesday 5 June 2019

(Un)Comfortably numb

So the pins and needles of two weeks ago have transformed into a full-blown sensory relapse. Oh joy.

I have had ongoing sensory issues ever since my first relapse 15 years ago, but not quite to the extent that they are at currently.

They are overwhelming, frightening and, like all invisible MS symptoms, a tricky beast to explain.

I don't look any different on the outside. There's no hazard lights marking out where the problems are. There's no helpful tattoos illustrating where the damage has been done. There's no real adequate way of explaining what's going on because it all sounds so far fetched.

Numbness, pins and needles and intense pressure are about as close as you might get to help non-MSers understand, but they don't really give the full picture.

It's so hard to explain the panic of being able to touch your own body but not feel anything but the cascade of internal pins and needles that pressing on your stomach has released in your fingertips.

Or the girdle-like tightness of the MS hug. A skin-tight corset that you can't remove at the end of the day.

Or the pulled skin sunburn-esque sensation stretching out over fingers and palms.

In addition, as I've been damaged along these pathways before, I don't know how well I can repair again.

But if 15 years with MS has taught me anything, it's to be patient.

It's early days in the relapse, so there's nothing for me to do now but wait and hope that I can get some sense of my body back.


As a reference point, here's a highly scientific diagram of my current status:


The MS Society has produced a useful booklet about pain and unpleasant sensations. You can download it here.




1 comment:

  1. Omg I found your picture on google, I have 3.5/7 positive results for ms but the doctor wants to run all these other tests first. But omg I’ve never felt more validated in my life. That these are real and other people have them. Thank you for this

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